June/July 2013





Greetings Dilip’s Diamonds Readers!


Starting now, I am moving the Dilip’s Diamonds publishing date from the end of the month to the beginning of the month. Therefore, we are combining the June issue with the July issue. This issue introduces you to something that is rarely, if ever, discussed in traditional speech classes. I hope that you gain insight and value from it that will spill over to every type of relationship and communication setting.


Have you ever wondered why connecting with some people is easier than others? This is true in one-on-one conversations as well as when speaking to groups. In this newsletter, you are going to discover a few simple ways to structure and deliver a speech that will help you connect with diverse kinds of people in any audience.


One of the keys to connecting with other people is to understand characteristics of particular behavioral styles. Every person has a preferred way of behaving. Research has shown that our behavioral styles are driven by attitudes of the mind that motivate us (“motivators”) and those that stress us (“stressors”). What are your motivators and stressors? Your combination of motivators and stressors cause you to behave in a certain way. That is called a “preferred behavioral style.” 


The groundbreaking research that was begun in the 1920s by Dr. William Marston of Columbia University eventually led to identifying four basic types of human behavior. These four styles have been labeled Dominance (D), Influence (i), Steady (S), and Conscientious (C).


Some of the motivators and stressors for the four styles are:

D: Motivated by immediate results, action, challenges, quick decisions, power, authority, direct answers, freedom from direct control, new & varied activities.

Stressed by following strict rules or protocols, having to slow down pace, having little independence or control, partnering with overcautious or indecisive people, routine work, detailed analyses, having ideas or authority challenged.


i: Motivated by working with people, creating favorable impressions, freedom to express enthusiasm and be entertaining, group participation, social recognition, group activities, relationships, freedom from control and detail, taking action.

Stressed by social rejection, disapproval, loss of influence, being required to work alone for long hours, having to be very detailed, routine work.


S: Motivated by harmony, stability, dependability, sincerity, loyalty, infrequent change, appreciation, cooperation, collaboration, patience, traditional methods.

Stressed by loss of stability, the unknown, rapid change, unpredictability, uncooperative people, lack of manners.


C: Motivated by accuracy, systematic and methodical approaches, logic, specificity, high quality, reserved atmosphere, facts, statistics, clear expectations of goals.

Stressed by being wrong, criticism of work, slipshod methods, strong displays of emotion, situations emotionally out of control.


An easy way to picture these styles is shown below. (“Directness” is another way to describe “Dominance.”)

Most people have a combination of two behavioral styles, while others may have a pure style.  For example, I have an iD style , meaning that I have the i trait as my primary and the D trait as my secondary orientation, the combination of which is an iD.


You are probably wondering how all this can possibly help you as a speaker. Examine the above diagram. Chances are that your audience is composed of people who represent all four traits and all combinations of traits. That means your speech has to appeal to all four DiSC styles and their combinations. Here’s an example of how you structure and deliver a speech to such an audience:

Start off with an attention grabbing statement. Then show how your presentation has relevance to the needs of the audience and then lead into the topic. [This is especially appealing to the high Ds in the audience because they are bottom line oriented and want to know why they should listen to you. You just gave them several reasons.] You have a logical flow and structure to the presentation. [This pleases the high Cs]. You use stories and examples that stir human interest. [This connects with high i members of the audience]. You speak with sincerity, which makes all styles and especially the high S listeners trust you. You use facts and statistics that are accurate and show your expertise of the subject matter. [This pleases high Cs]. You speak with enthusiasm [pleases high i people] and confidence [pleases all listeners, especially high Ds]. However, your enthusiasm is not out of control, which allows the high Cs not to feel too uncomfortable. The clarity of your message and audience-centered attitude is especially pleasing to the high S people. Your humor connects with all, but especially the high i members of the audience. Your delivery and content liven up what otherwise could be a boring topic. [High i people and high S people especially appreciate this]. You don't pull out unpleasant surprises on the audience and you show respect for the members of the audience. This especially pleases high S attendees]. Your message and delivery tug at the heartstrings [especially appealing to high i and high S listeners] and also make great sense to the mind [pleases high Cs and high Ds]. You conclude strongly [pleasing to high Ds] and tie it into the central idea of your talk [the logical process pleases listeners who are high C and high S].


Intrigued? Want to find out more? 

Start with this article: http://www.drdilip.com/articles/behavioral.pdf

Then go to: http://www.drdilip.com/disc.html andhttp://www.drdilip.com/relationship.htm


Want to share what works for you in public speaking or relationship building?

Send me your success stories with permission to print them!

News for Diamond Club Members – Diamond Round Table!

Our expected June start for a monthly Google + video chat with Diamond Club members had to be postponed several weeks due to health issues of our Marketing Director. We plan to get this program, called theDiamond Round Table, off the ground before the end of July. The one-hour forum will include a short educational session followed by an open floor discussion. You can ask questions and also get to see and hear from other Diamond Club members! Every Diamond Club member was contacted by Dr. Dilip LLC Marketing Director, Tony Crocamo, with directions and guidance on how to join the Google + video chat. We ask for your prayers and supportive thoughts for Tony as he recovers from surgery.

The “Mind Mapping – Unlock Your Creative Genius” one-day workshop was held on June 22 with five very enthusiastic and able participants. All of them proved that they could mind map anything. They concluded the day with a group mind map of the universe of mind mapping possibilities. Congratulations – Jane, Nancy, Jim, Lori, and Silas!


Dr. Dilip Abayasekara
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in Time



July 1:
Speech Coaching, CEO


July 9: 
Speech Coaching, CEO


July 13: 
UM Stewardship Foundation Board meeting


July 18: 
Speech Coaching, CEO


July 21:
Worship Leader, 
Camp Hill United Methodist Church


July 22: 
Speech Coaching, Senior Manager


July 23: 
Speech Coach, CEO


July 30: 
Speech Coach, Senior VP


Aug. 20:
Table Group Webinar


Aug 21-24: 
Toastmasters International Convention,Cincinnati, OH.


For archived issues of this e-newsletter, click here:previous issues.

If you found this newsletter helpful and would like more in-depth information directly from me, come join theDiamonds Club.  Here is what you get from theDiamonds Club:

As a member, you will receive:

  • A monthly video training session on how you can become a more competent and confident public speaker. This will run from 8-12 minutes and you can play it as many times as you want to extract the maximum learning from it.
  • Free monthly video conferencing, which will include short educational sessions on public speaking skills and give you an opportunity to ask Dr. Dilip your questions about any upcoming speech, “meet” fellow Diamond Club members, learn from each other, and build an online learning community.
  • Receive anevaluation of any upcoming speech. Submit a video clip or script of a speech you are preparing to give. Receive expert feedback that will inform you about what you are doing well and receive practical tips on how to improve your presentation.
  • Discounts ontraining andcoaching programs and products from time to time.

You can hurdle time and money obstacles because for a low monthly fee, you can access all of the above 24/7! For more details and to sign up, click here.


Quote to Think About

It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.

-- Warren Buffett